I believe relationships are worth the effort. If there are two willing hearts, who are willing to do the hard work, relationships can be wonderful.
But what does hard work in a relationship even mean?
We think of hard work as ‘putting our back into it’ or working long hours. But I think hard work in a relationship looks a lot more like this :
- Making an effort even though you don’t feel like it (getting up and making that cup of tea or doing the dishes even though wasn’t your turn or getting up in the middle of the night to heat the heat pack and bring the panadol even though you are in pain yourself or listening to the same old work story!).
- Feeling, angry, frustrated, misunderstood, unappreciated, unseen and lonely sometimes.
- Biting our tongue when we know the moment is not right (even though we are!).
- Going without what we need at times because we know the other person cannot see what we need or is unable to give it in that moment.
- Negotiating and renegotiating and giving up some of the things but we would really like.
- Giving up a few of our wants and possibly even a few of our dreams along the way.
- Finding ways to love or accept what our partner loves.
- Being kind, when kindness is the farthest away from our instinct.
And hard work in a relationship is also:
- Looking after ourselves (sleep, nutrition, time to ourselves, hobbies and friends away from the relationship).
- Setting and respecting our boundaries.
- Knowing our limits and ourselves.
- Working on ourselves as individuals
And now that I have shared a smidgen of how I believe hard work in a relationship looks .. . Tell me….
Are you ready to roll up your sleeves, jump in with both feet and give it all you’ve got?
If you would like my valued opinion: You reap what you sew. It’s totally worth it.