By Julian Bartlett-Keates
A Load-bearing wall is a structural element that supports the weight of what’s above it. It provides needed stability to an entire structure. When a load bearing wall is taken out, the structure becomes unstable. Sometimes this happens dramatically, a house imploding in on itself like some kind of tragic souffle. But often, instead, It happens gradually. Ceilings sag, doors no longer close or open properly. Eventually, there’s a collapse, but it happens slowly. Load-bearing walls are removed accidentally all the time, and often with far-reaching consequences.
Timothy is a busy man. He works 10-6 through the week and coaches childrens soccer on weekends. On Thursday nights, Timothy is home alone. His wife works an evening shift, and with no kids he has the house to himself. Well, himself and the dog. He watches movies, he listens to music. He plays video games he used to be better at. For the past three Thursdays, he’s been trying to teach the dog to bark when it hears the Yellowstone Intro. And when Timothy’s wife gets home at 10.30pm he meets her at the door and tells her he missed her. And he does miss her. She’s his favourite person. Don’t tell the dog. When her work schedule shifts he greets the increased quality time with optimism. His wife has been wanting them to watch Yellowstone so they start watching three episodes on a Thursday night. Besides the constant barking, he doesn’t mind it.
A few weeks in, something strange happens. Timothy snaps at a co-worker. They’re late. Always. And frankly it’s always annoyed him, but this is really the first time he’s actually snapped. He notices he has a lot on his mind, and starts finding it harder to sleep. He’s never wanted to take a day off so badly. He notices himself getting frustrated with break room conversations, grocery trips and even, at times, with relatively innocuous things that his wife says. She brings it up. He doesn’t know what to say. They argue. He feels worn out. Really worn out. He feels like he can’t seem to find a second anywhere to breathe. I can take this in any number of dramatic and shocking directions, but I think you probably see where I’m going with this one. Timothy took out a load-bearing wall in his life.
If things feel important, even if you don’t have the words to justify why, it’s worth looking into why they feel important. And if you’re noticing sagging ceilings, and doors that stick, maybe it’s worth really considering the things you need in place to hold up everything above.
Gail Bartlett-Harris Registered Counsellor 